One last post before the day ends.

I have forgotten how therapeutic writing could be. It’s become an addiction– only this time, it is good.

My Theology teacher asked us to make a reflection paper on a love story that is untold and me being me, because I’ve never truly had a romance brimming, or a kind of love they write stories about, I wrote about the only lover I know: God. I believe He fit the picture too because love requires staying strong and  being patient with that person and accepting all of the flaws that come with her, a choice and an effort that doesn’t come easy like most lovers think. Love is what settles when the unlovable sets in– when you begin to see imperfections and habits that annoy you out of your mind and make you want to bang your head into the wall, yet you stay anyway because she is the one person you know you can love all your life. Love is forgiving and who is a better forgiver than God? The best kind of love forgives because it knows she cannot be perfect, it allows the freedom to make mistakes and choices that allow her to grow up because your lover will always want what is best for you– not for him. Because of Sir Rochester, I have come to realize that love isn’t that fairytale I have always believed in as little girl where my Prince Charming comes all decent and good and sweeps me off my feet. All my life I was told, “wait for that boy that is meant for you. Do not settle. Allow God to write your love story.” Funny thing is, I think God is writing my love story already, even without the romance. His unfailing love for me and my unstable love for Him is a love story in itself. He really is the perfect lover. So I wrote about God and it was ten pages long. See, when I do something, I do it well and this one was no exception. I wrote the longest reflection paper among everybody else and I felt ashamed. (I often feel ashamed though so it’s okay). But the thing I realized is, every time I write about something completely honest and send it in to a teacher, teachers often write soulful comments on it, really soak what I write in and give high grades. But it’s not the grade I am after. I guess after all this time, when I write something to be read, I’m really letting somebody look into me and see a part of me they cannot see anywhere else. I am a beautiful person with beautiful thoughts and all of this can only be revealed by my writing. So I wrote. And this is what my Theology teacher replied:

I don’t want to add anything more to this beautiful, so beautiful reflection. I am deeply moved, deeply touched by God because of these wonderful thoughts. It’s a spiritual masterpiece. Someday these letters will mean so much to a Church in need of beautiful witnesses. Thanks so much for flaming a blessing in my life. This reflection is so long, at first I thought I might get tired reading it somewhere along the way. But I was mistaken, I was truly blessed, inspired.

– Roch

Every time I write, my teachers react. And I don’t mean this in a sense of power but I realized that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life: inspire people through my writing. When I write, I make sense of my experiences and it helps enlighten me. But today I realized that what I discover could enlighten other people as well. I want to do this; I want to blow people away. I am a timorous girl when I speak and act but when I write, I want to be a whirlwind. In fact, not only when I write but everywhere else. I want to be the best me I can be. I want to speak well. Study well. Think well. Act well. I want to surprise everybody. I want to be a storm. I’m going to break through. Get ready.

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For every setback, God has a MAJOR comeback.

They say life is a journey—which is funny because it makes me think of the band Journey and Steve Perry’s awesome poof mullet. That thing was righteous. Regardless, we each have a journey we’re walking, a story we’re living as we progress through each day. Sometimes our journey is a happy one filled with good times and laughter; other times, it’s full of heartache and shame. Whichever is true of your current state, you and I are on a far reaching journey—a journey that doesn’t end until we’ve let our last breath slip from our lips.

If you and I were to sit down and discuss the intimate details of my journey thus far, we’d need several hours. It’d be soaked with tales of deceit and depression, of faltering virtues and a flawed logic. But looking back, and because our precious hindsight is so perfectly clear, I can see each roaming step I took led me, thankfully, to where I am now—happy, fulfilled, content, and following a calling I ignorantly ignored for years. No, the mistakes I made—and there were plenty—aren’t forgotten, but each one, despite my best efforts, led me to something good, something worthwhile. It only took me accepting His will for my life once and for all.

God has a plan for each of us, but He also allows us the freedom of will to make our own decisions and choose which paths we’d like to take. So what happens when the choice we make doesn’t match up to the plan He’s laid out for us? What happens when we refuse to follow our calling or His ways and we end up off track and lost? Can we ever get back? The answer is actually rather simple. Yes, we can. God tailors His plan based on each step we take so that we are never too far from jumping right back on to the path He’s chosen. And while it’s possible to feel as if we’re a million miles away from anything resembling the will of God, the plan that He so carefully crafted for us is always being altered, always being conditioned so that it’s ever-ready to accompany us should we choose to meet back up with Him.

You may have stepped away from His journey for a minute, or maybe it’s been a long while. But I can truthfully say that you’re right where you need to be. God can use you, help you, restore you right where you stand. It may not seem like it right this moment, but imagine looking back on the spot where you now stand and seeing how it soon led you to something beautiful and full of redemption. You may feel unworthy of the love and grace He has to give, and that’s understandable. But imagine looking back one grace-filled day and saying softly to yourself, “I was right where I needed to be”. Let that be you. Acknowledge where you are and know that you’re right where He needs you to be.

– Cory Copeland

It is time I trust in that Man again.