The Brightness of Possibility

I met a boy yesterday. He set my blood to breathe, produced a thousand fireflies aglow in my gut, a bright ray of light; a shimmer of promise of possibility. He was good, decent, and free. When he spoke it was of up-righteousness; the character of an unwavering gentleman spilling from his lips, kind eyes and that uplifted smile, interested ears and a soul wanting to uncover, to know more, little details of my life that were mostly unsignificant but to him remained interesting nonetheless. It doesn’t help that he’s from Southridge– a new breed of cavalier that stay true to their integrity (most of them anyway). It was an honest certainty that good boys still exist to this day; the kind I always imagined marrying; so decent and so right and so good for me and I to him. It is difficult to stay saintly in this world but it is saintly that I am after– the peace and security that brims fullness of life, of light, contentment and blessedness. I know because it’s what I used to have. In that state hatred couldn’t touch me, nor anger or jealousy, nor even pride. Just love and faith. A God. All one needs to get by.

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise. To fly.

That boy brought back hope. He is out there; the man who will be good to me. It might take him a few wrong turns, a number of dead-ends and infinite obstacles but one day all of these will lead to me and I to him. Because of the existence of the boy, I know that surely there must be more out there; enough for me to hold on to one. It’ll be beautiful if it’s the right person and I want nothing short of that. And so here I am, back to the beginning, trying one more time at loving myself and being good so I can be worth it for him too. So please, to anybody listening, be good to people. Give them kind words, caring smiles, gentle touches of concern and care. You could be the one to save them. You could turn their life around.

As a dad once told the whole world to his child, “Settling means giving up. Dont.” Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on people. Wouldn’t it be beautiful to have a man who can tell that to your kids; give advice and be the stronghold throughout their life, and of course yours? You are going to find love someday and it will be beautiful and worth the wait. Not yet though. Right now, the universe is pulling strings to make the both of you right for each other, placing struggles to make the two of you better, move with the beauty of growth, wisdom, and experience so when the two of you finally catch a spark that will turn into a fire one day, you will both be strong enough to handle the burns. Most of the time, love is really loving yourself first, patiently waiting and trusting that God won’t fall short of a good man for you. So be good to yourself and to others, and most of all: don’t lose hope. He will come. After all, throughout the history of time, God has never let anybody who believed in His promise down. Your time will come too.

I met a boy yesterday. It was only a short period of time but in that instant, I fell in love with the idea of him but in my man, with the bright future full of nothings but everythings at once and all the best that is yet to come; this time, for me too.

Trust in the process.

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My (Required) Letter to the President

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Dearest  Mr. Aquino,

As a legitimate citizen of this country and as a student of Sir. Benj  Barretto, there are six things I know to be true:

(i). Good governance is a product of the power of the people relayed to sovereign authority for the public good or value.

Long story short, we are called to be public servants. Because we are in need of a clean and good government to lead us into a better nation, the people of the Philippines have decided to transform their rights into specific people of the government in hopes that these people will share the burden of the responsibility in doing good governance. That means you and your minions, Mr. President. We are counting on YOU. A good governance composes of several things: an effective and efficient leadership towards the alleviation of poverty, which is the problem of the Philippines. It contains transparency and accountability of leaders towards transferability and sustainability of the government. Now I’m not saying that you’re not exactly doing it but there are several names in the government in power that are known to abuse their power and be corrupt to the point that they are not practicing good governance anymore. A good government heavily relies on its leaders and that is something we are lacking: good and responsible leaders who are indeed for the cause of the public good instead of merely themselves. There is a strong need to implement this point across all borders of the government and remove those corrupt officials to be replaced by those who work for the people. Remember that we were the givers of your power. Use it appropriately. Don’t be afraid to do what you’re tasked to do, even if it means discharging some people along the way.

(ii). The state is a parent or guardian of the country.

This means you have to watch out for us as if we were your own children. Like any good parent who just wants what’s best for their children, you must do the same. This means that we, the public and the citizens of this country, are your top priorities. Not your undercover line of work, your career, your reputation, and certainly not the numbers of your income. Your main concern and responsibility is the people. Make sure your children are doing good, are happy, and are moving towards bright futures. At the same time, favoritism is not a good trait. A parent loves all his or her kids the same and this means that you cannot just focus on bettering the lives of only a few parts of the country and forgetting the rest. Reach out to everybody. Coordinate. Get personal. Maybe if you get to know the people you are actually serving instead of working up there on your pedestal, it’ll give you more passion and drive to better serve your people more quickly and efficiently. Be effective. And do not waste the hopefully ample amount of time given.

(iii). There are three fundamental powers of the state: where does it all go?

Given the rights of police power, power of taxation, and power of eminent domain, are they being used justly? In previous years, our taxes were raised but we didn’t know where they were going. Actually, in the end we found out they were being shoved into the pockets of corrupt officials. Let me remind you that you are the head of the state. No matter what you do (as long as it is just and righteous), your people will be behind you in support. Your powers—do not abuse, do not take them for granted, and do it for the people. Let it be for the good that resources are not wasted, social justice is achieved, and decision-making is righteous. Always for the people. Make sure your other minions pertain to that as well.

(iv). Politics are messy, complex, and unsightly.

For some reason, when it comes to Filipino politics everybody’s hands get dirty. Personal connections influence political reputations (your parents, in your case), popularity is more important than excellence to earn substantial votes, there is a high present tolerance for mediocrity, and then there’s the idea of utang ng loob, hiya, and pakikisama behind the scenes. Otherwise known as self-absorbed to please the wrong people just to stay in power, position, and good name. This is wrong. Politics are to be used for the good of the majority of the people. Being in politics is not about yourself. You are in control because you have a vision of a better Philippines and you want to make sure you earn the chance to try to make it come true. Do not say things to the public and turn you back and do something else or back down from your words. Be strong, Mr. President. The country needs you to be.

(v).  The government consists of three branches: the executive, legislative, and judiciary. Are they staying true to their tasks?

This morning I had an interesting lecture in Sir Benj’s class about implemented laws not followed. Like the law requirements for a municipality to be a city ignored by the council themselves! Traditionally and according to the Constitution, those who break the law should end up in jail. The executive implements the law, the legislative creates the law, and the judicial branch decides on legalities of actions based on these laws. Why is it not being taken seriously? What is the point of making a law where our leaders are too soft to follow through? Like that R.A. 90003 intended for the leaders of their communities to have a waste management program after three years ignored. I understand there is the problem of financing to follow through so here’s a tip: Make laws that can actually be pulled together and done so that no excuses can be accepted. Do not tolerate heedlessness. How will the country move forward if our own constitution is being carelessly ignored, worse, by the makers or implementers themselves? Another thing, I believe in the saying that if you really wanted it, you’d do everything in your power to find a way.  Let the leaders be leaders. This means that the heads be responsible enough to not avoid responsibility, take the initiative and act for the best without waiting to be reminded or told.

(vi). Taking aside corruption, poverty is the biggest problem of the Philippines. How to alleviate?

I don’t know the answer. You have inkling to running your government well but it is only the beginning and I am certain so much more can be done. I agree with you when you say that corruption should first be dealt with but my concern is if it is actually being dealt with genuinely or is it still swept under the rug, especially with clearly corrupt officials in your office? Like I said, stay strong and stay true. Live up to your promises to the public. At the same time, there is a mentality that must be changed among the Filipino people and I believe it goes along the lines of helplessness: being the damsels in distress and waiting for the knight to come save them. I don’t know how to instruct through this but as a president, I suggest you simply be more open. Clear your mind and steadfast your heart. Be available, be determined, be responsible, and do not waste any of the opportunities that pass by. I cannot imagine a day in the life of a country president but I am hoping days are not wasted simply sitting on a desk behind view trying to act like you’re doing something important when you really could be. This letter aims as simple reminders, in case you lose your way along the unpaved road. I have faith in you. And I’m guessing since you own majority of the nation’s votes, they believe in you too.

                                   Hoping that you don’t disappoint,

                                                           Me,

One of the many concerned citizens who actually really care about what happens next.

For every setback, God has a MAJOR comeback.

They say life is a journey—which is funny because it makes me think of the band Journey and Steve Perry’s awesome poof mullet. That thing was righteous. Regardless, we each have a journey we’re walking, a story we’re living as we progress through each day. Sometimes our journey is a happy one filled with good times and laughter; other times, it’s full of heartache and shame. Whichever is true of your current state, you and I are on a far reaching journey—a journey that doesn’t end until we’ve let our last breath slip from our lips.

If you and I were to sit down and discuss the intimate details of my journey thus far, we’d need several hours. It’d be soaked with tales of deceit and depression, of faltering virtues and a flawed logic. But looking back, and because our precious hindsight is so perfectly clear, I can see each roaming step I took led me, thankfully, to where I am now—happy, fulfilled, content, and following a calling I ignorantly ignored for years. No, the mistakes I made—and there were plenty—aren’t forgotten, but each one, despite my best efforts, led me to something good, something worthwhile. It only took me accepting His will for my life once and for all.

God has a plan for each of us, but He also allows us the freedom of will to make our own decisions and choose which paths we’d like to take. So what happens when the choice we make doesn’t match up to the plan He’s laid out for us? What happens when we refuse to follow our calling or His ways and we end up off track and lost? Can we ever get back? The answer is actually rather simple. Yes, we can. God tailors His plan based on each step we take so that we are never too far from jumping right back on to the path He’s chosen. And while it’s possible to feel as if we’re a million miles away from anything resembling the will of God, the plan that He so carefully crafted for us is always being altered, always being conditioned so that it’s ever-ready to accompany us should we choose to meet back up with Him.

You may have stepped away from His journey for a minute, or maybe it’s been a long while. But I can truthfully say that you’re right where you need to be. God can use you, help you, restore you right where you stand. It may not seem like it right this moment, but imagine looking back on the spot where you now stand and seeing how it soon led you to something beautiful and full of redemption. You may feel unworthy of the love and grace He has to give, and that’s understandable. But imagine looking back one grace-filled day and saying softly to yourself, “I was right where I needed to be”. Let that be you. Acknowledge where you are and know that you’re right where He needs you to be.

– Cory Copeland

It is time I trust in that Man again.

I really outdid myself this time.

It is not the end. It matters how you finish. Are you going to finish strong?“- Nick Vujicic, with no arms or legs

Throughout my life, I have always had this strong sense of conscience– my inner locus of control aware and telling if I ever lost my way. Every time I was thinking of doing things I wasn’t suppose to do like for instance, watching TV instead of studying for the next day, the inner voice would soon appear and fling guilt across my face, saying “Don’t do that, Lex. You have to be good to yourself.” I am struggling to get that back.

I just emailed the dean of my school about my intent of retaking a financial test because guess what, I flipping failed. I had too much fun, neglected my studies and travelled across Europe that I ignored that one subject whose teacher unfortunately really fails students. The bright side is, I’m not the only one who failed. Almost half the class did and they went to that class more than I. It doesn’t make it any better, though. It shouldn’t. And the JTA rule that stands is this: fail one, credit none. In other words, if I don’t get the second chance, none of my subjects abroad will push through and it’ll be like starting over again. Like, all that I’ve put in during that semester abroad was washed away, leaving a blank sheet ready for new hardships, marks, learnings, and failings. Add to that the fact that I am not graduating this year along with my fellow batchmates, having to stay behind another entire year for two subjects I did not anticipate. And then there’s the fact that I am totally failing economics now to the point where there is no hope and I have stopped going to class, and even though the teacher fails two-thirds of his class, I feel so bad because I am not usually part of that. I should be part of that one-third who passes. I should be above average.

God, I am so unsettled. I am just standing here, telling myself okay, this time I’m really going to study now. I’m going to do it. And then I find other things to do, matters that delay, and I end up sulking during nightfall when I realize that I failed myself again, yet another day I have wasted doing nothing good for myself. I have to stop this and I am, and there is sense in all of this. I know all these only means I have more opportunities to grow and expand myself and become– more chances for doing the things in college I was truly meant to do; be more open, find more meaning, and be good, so good. I never pictured myself graduating with honors but now that is the vision I hold, the vision I owe to at least myself and my parents who are doing a good deal investing in me, and because of all these failures, of being held back, of all the things I let slip by because of my own stubbornness, stupidity, and laziness, I am going to make sure I end well. I am going to finish strong and proud with my head held high, and I am going to get up that stage and receive honors that will make everybody proud and shock them out of their asses. I am going to turn things around and go for all that is good; reach higher and higher every day and keep trying.

There is that saying: once you’ve hit bottom, you can only go up.

Here’s to outdoing myself once more.

Let me tell you something.

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Life is supposed to be an adventure.

It’s moments of beautiful releases of refusing to hold back,


or hide out of fear, worry, or even loss.

It’s about taking adventures surrounded by nature, a tourist among all others

 

knowing that it’s not the destination that matters but the journey you make of it along the way.

It is fact that you may get trampled on, bashed on, held down by those who don’t want to see you succeed

but pay them no heed and laugh it off, get up, and start all over again. It annoys them more to see you smile.

So look yourself into the mirror and love that beautiful being staring back at you,

jump for joy every moment for happiness is a choice and you deserve to have your head held high

Even if you can’t jump high enough, JUMP ANYWAY.

Get wild, crazy, walk the path that nobody every daredBe YOU & don’t be afraid of it.

Don’t be afraid to STAND OUT.

Always stand on the edge. Always find new things to do, try out things you’ve never done, do things for the first time!

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

You only regret the things you didn’t do & the chances you were too afraid to take.

Be FEARLESS & IN CONTROL.

Everyday, Choose LIFE.