Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters. – John Greene
I am writing again about the life I wish I already started living. Sometimes I think life is wasted on me. When my head’s not in the game, and I’m an idiot for doing what I do. There is no shame in wishing but it is tragic living separate lives forgetting which is real and living in the fiction. I want to be somebody; this person in my head that matters and is worth it and is needed and can make something of herself. But it’s difficult coming to terms with who I’ve become, what I’ve let get so far and I am afraid. I am
afraid terrified of failing. Of not being good enough. Of trying and it not mattering. But there is a tiny part of me that’s telling me that the pain of sitting here, waiting around and doing nothing is worse.
It hurts because it matters. Please, Lex, don’t do this to yourself anymore. WAKE THE FUCK UP