You’re like a firecracker. You look plain on the outside, but your insides are ready to burst into flames, so much magic and wonder if only you’d ignite.
I think about falling in love. With a boy so beautiful and mysterious I’d get the shivers trying to uncover him, wondering him at nightfall unable to sleep, thinking about all that runs through his mind. I want to memorize his favorite song from his favorite band, know if he’s closer to his mother or his father, if he likes school or thinks it’s a complete waste of time, what he thinks of God and going to mass, if he’s the kind of guy who texts or calls, if he snores when he sleeps– all he is when he thinks nobody’s watching. I want to know his favorite game and soccer team (I will deny he’s a basketball lover), his dream car and the kind of girl he always imagined being with, his dreams for this life and others.
I wonder about the boy I’m going to end up falling in love with. If he wonders how I look, the treasures hidden deep behind my protective soul, the prayers I sometimes forget to whisper before I go to bed, my first thoughts in the morning when my eyes awake from slumber, the books I enjoy reading and the movies I enjoy crying to just because it makes me feel human. I wonder if he thinks about me, about all I am and all I could be in the future; about all the kind of love we are going to make, and if he knows that we’re going to create a love unlike a time bomb but everlasting, so beautiful and sweet and deep it’ll move with you forever.
I wonder about love between a beautiful boy and a hidden girl, whether it’ll come true and last long enough for an entire novel to be written, strong enough for songs to be sung and music to be played, and fought enough so it’ll last till death does them part. I wonder about the kind of love that springs so powerful, the words meant of a single promise, a single vow with the winds and the Heavens as witness, the birds and the leaves singing in chorus: “No matter what happens, I will take care of you. No matter what happens, I will be here for you. No matter what you do, I’m not leaving. Even if you grow fat and unbearable to look at, I will stay. Grow white hairs and huge pimples and become the ugliest girl in the world, I will hold your hand for the whole world to see that you are mine. Be a pain in the ass most times and thrash out on me during your monthly hormonal days, I will hang on tight until the morning. I love you in spite of the things you do and not because for our love is inconsequential. Our love is real.” I hope to make myself worth it for this boy and this kind of love. Please come, please come.