Being Alone.

Lean and I left home at six in the morning today. It’s his ACET at 7:30 and I have class at 9 and dad didn’t see any reason why we shouldn’t go together and wanted me to wait three flipping hours instead and so here I am. Alone. And surprisingly not lonely.

While on the car away to Ateneo High School, I was observing the other ACET examinees walking and I was shocked because they look so old. They’re all at least two or three years younger than me and they look older than me. Is it wrong if that sort of made me feel good? I don’t know. There’s nothing really making me feel good about myself right now. But soon, I’ll get there. Preferably today. Hopefully I get to swim tonight.

I sat at the caf alone and read over accounting for a while. Apparently I have three long tests next week. Three. Good luck to me. It was strange because I wasn’t doing particularly interesting but a couple of people kept staring. I felt even more awkward. So awkward. I went to eat breakfast for a while and now here I am, in an empty classroom writing this while waiting for the clock to hit 9. About thirty-three minutes left.

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<being bored>

I came across this article that said you can sleep your fat away. I quote, “so if you want to look hotter, get some sleep!” Apparently sleep lowers the hormone ghrelin, which in high levels causes you to eat more from hunger, slows down metabolism, and decreases the rate of fat oxidation. So all I have to do is sleep all day and not eat a lot. Damn, this is what I’ve been doing the whole time minus the not eating a lot part. Damn. I am going to sleep, exercise, and diet from now on. Yeah, I’m starting today. I don’t want to hold back any longer. I mean look at me. I have nothing against being fat, I’m just against being so unhealthy to the point of it showing. To being static and not exercising. Plenty of people complain that they can’t help it, and a lot of obesity are spawned from heredity but because I was a fat kid before all this too, and then lost weight along the way (although later on gaining it back i.e. now), you can actually control your own weight. It’s a matter of controlling what you eat and moving enough to maintain or shed. Honestly. It’s not going to be easy but it is possible. Of course, the best thing to do is watch out and prevent before it actually happens. I wasn’t able to do that last time but this time I’ve learned my lesson. That’s the beautiful thing about experiences. You learn every single time, and afterwards you can appreciate the results more of your own hard worked transformation. At the same time, tips from Google and work trainers help. Because of this experience, I now know I’m going to take care of myself and my body for life.

Hm, twenty minutes left till time. 🙂 I’ve survived whoop! I’ll see you later. Maybe POS class will be boring so I might write again.

P.S. I’m sorry for being so weight-conscious. I don’t intend it to annoy any readers out there; this blog is just personally for me, for my own benefit and not yours. I’ll talk about it when I want to and I’ll begin my quest on weight loss and maybe take a picture of myself every single day until the day when I can be comfortable in my own skin and be happy with what I’ve done.

Here’s to loving myself, more & more. 

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