What activity are you still working up the courage to try?

This is one of the questions that WordPress freely gives to get your thoughts running and I’m giving it my first try by answering: I want to jump off a tall structure, take all my fear until the very edge, jump, scream, and let all of it go.

Fears only exist in the head and I’m still learning to box them all up and fill them with sticky duct tape in several layers. Fear is what holds back and makes you run and hide of things that haven’t even happened yet. They’re just thoughts and I want them gone.

Sometimes I think fear is an extension of being terrified of the monsters within you. Of being too afraid to dig deep only to discover that there’s something there that you don’t like about yourself and so you don’t even bother shoveling. It’s like when I tell myself I’m afraid of heights when it’s not true because I can’t be afraid of heights if I haven’t gone. The truth is I’m afraid of falling off. And when I tell everybody I’m afraid of the dark but I’m not; just a memory that convinces the mind to tell me I am afraid when there’s nothing to be afraid of in the first place. I think fears exist because they’re meant to be overcome, because when you face them you realize that if you survive, you realize that you were so foolish all along and you feel like you can do anything in the world because you made it. Fears are there to be brave. I don’t want to be fearless. I just want to be brave enough to not walk away; brave enough to try and overcome, and brave enough to start all over again when needed. To be brave in all that I do, even when I’m shaking, this indeed is the everyday activity I am working on. It’s not going to happen in one day, and and then for the rest of your life you’re instantly unafraid of anything. Fears are part of our lives. The struggle isn’t erasing them; it’s in overcoming them. It’s in knowing that they will arise any time and allowing myself to not take several steps backward and scurry like a mouse being chased.

I am trying to overcome the flurry of fear. To changing the game of fear being an inconvenience to using it as an opportunity for growth and an extension of myself. How about you? What are you too afraid to try?

 

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