Are you happy?

You’re beautiful, you know that? You are beautiful but you are also suffering.

Have you ever noticed that it’s the beautiful people who suffer most? So angelic in their forlorn faces filled with days of strain as saltness falls from their eyes and pores; lips parted halfway. Their eyes are usually empty or purely full as they propel themselves to do it, harder this time, no pain no gain their self-proclaimed mantra as they move through life with determination, unknowing that anytime they are ready to buckle under the weight. When they push and give it all they have, short breaths and painful joints, unstopping until they get there. And when they’re there, nobody gives a damn, people say “that’s not good enough!” and in turmoil they scream “I am trying, why doesn’t anybody see I am trying” because when it comes to people the hard work doesn’t matter. It’s the results everybody’s eyes are focused on. Results of success and hard work paid off.

I wonder about the beautiful people. The ones who use up their life desperately trying to prove to people that they’re good enough, putting up a front in the way they dress, walk, talk, and act, just to save face. I wonder if at the end of the day, they feel good enough about themselves and are satisfied or still want more, a fire geared to spread if uncontrolled. I wonder if they know there are people out there who admire them and are inspired by their work, just in who they are and what they’ve accomplished so far. But it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, none of it does. The only opinion that ultimately matters is theirs, whether they’re fooling themselves or not. It is true what Eric Weiner said in the Georgraphy of Bliss,

Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else.

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